This morning, as I do most mornings, I opened my feed reader* and skimmed through all the items. The introduction to one entry in particular was so familiar, I actually had to re-read it to make sure it wasn’t one that I had written… and I’m not exaggerating. See for yourself:
“All my life, I dreamed of having a little girl. I pictured us getting manicures together, shopping, and enjoying all sorts of girly things. (Of course, my friends with girls assure me it’s not always quite so blissful.)
It seems God’s picture of my family was slightly different than mine, though, because I am a mother of two boys. Two rough and tumble, ornery boys.
Don’t get me wrong. I adore my boys. I simply assumed I would have a girl as well. As this dream of mine has come to an end (after four miscarriages), I’ve finally started focusing on the positives. The things I love about being a mother of boys.”
HELLO!!! Right down to the number of miscarriages, this mama is singin’ my song. I remember well the day we found out Evan was a boy. Ryan was in California on business, and we had him on speaker phone when the doctor made the discovery. With my unique and terrifying pregnancy history, I was insanely relieved just to see that the baby was healthy and thriving. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed about not having a girl.
MY plan included tutus and pigtails and Barbies. Pierced ears and ruffles and pompoms. And pink… lots of pink.
But God’s picture of my family was slightly different than mine. And there was nothing I could do to change it, so just like this author, I decided to look for the silver linings. Here is her Top 10 list of awesome things about being a BoyMom:
1. I am the only girl in the family and thus the only female who gets spoiled.
2. There is only one hormonal woman to deal with, and it happens to be me. The teenage years, I’m sure, will be somewhat easier without another female dealing with “her time of the month.”
3. It’s actually kind of fun to dig in the mud, kick a soccer ball around, and get dirty.
4. There will always be a “strong boy” around to conquer something for me (like the spider on the wall or the jar I can’t seem to open).
5. Mother-Son dates. Need I say more?
6. I get the privilege of being the most important woman in my boys’ lives. Sure, they love Grandma, and someday they’ll probably fall in love with another woman. But at least for now, I am the central female figure in their lives.
7. Boys give great bear hugs. The tighter, the better.
8. How else will I learn how to build my very own Tire Factory “just like the one on Cars”?
9. Boys can pee outside. It is so much easier when you’re on vacation and nowhere near a gas station.
10. The bond between a mother and her sons will last a lifetime. I’m sure mothers and daughters, as well as fathers and sons, have similar bonds, but I don’t know. There’s just something about a momma and her boys.
I would also add:
~ We won’t be paying for prom dresses, wedding dresses, or weddings. (Although I’ll admit to praying, even now, for my boys to find ladies who will allow me to accompany them on shopping trips for the aforementioned dresses and events.)
~ If we had girls, playing with the four boys next door might not be quite as fun.
~ I spend waaaaaaay less money and time shopping for my boys than I would if I had girls. Some basic clothing items, a pair of tennis shoes, and a pair of sandals are all my boys need to be happy and feel fashionable. (And a super cape… let’s not forget the super cape!)
~ I spend waaaaaaay less money and time sewing for my boys than I would if I had girls. I have to be much more creative and selective about what I sew/craft for the boys. This has proven to be a fun and rewarding challenge (although I have nieces, so I’ve been able to indulge a bit here and there).
~ One word: Underroos. 🙂
My heart still aches for a little girl. Someone who may, someday, come to understand me in a way that my boys never will. Someone to teach about make-up and hairstyling and femininity. About Barbies and boys and what it means to be a daughter of the One True King.
But God’s picture of my family was slightly different than mine.
And I’ve learned to be joyful and rest in the perfection of His plan for me. I’ve learned (ok, I’m still learning) to embrace the noise and chaos and toothbrushes-turned-guns and rawr’ing that are my constant companions. I now realize that instead of teaching my girl(s) how to be a lady, I’ll be teaching my boys how to treat a girl like a lady. Instead of praying for a baby girl of my own, I’ve learned to pray for someone else’s… that they, whomever, and wherever they are, will someday love my boys as much as I do.
And I’ve learned that my job as a BoyMom is not any less rewarding, nor our bond any looser simply because they are not girls. My boys are the cherubic faces of the future of our world… future leaders, future husbands, future fathers. And warriors for the Kingdom – even now. And because of them, my life will never be the same.
*Incidentally, Google Reader will disappear Monday, July 1st. I now use The Old Reader, and have also heard great things about Feedly and Blog Lovin’. If you’re still using Google Reader, be sure to make the switch before you lose all your favorite reads!