Six months into our marriage, I had finished school, but didn’t have a job yet. Â I was bored and lonely, so I demanded requested that Ryan either get me pregnant or get me a dog. Â Clearly not ready for a human baby, we began the search for a canine companion. Â After an unsuccessful visit to a PetSmart adoption event, we ended up at Pets ‘n Pals, a local no-kill shelter. Â We chose a 6-week old puppy whom the shelter believed was a lab/Australian Shepherd mix. Â He whined the entire ride home (and every car ride after that – including a three-day trek to Illinois), and from then on, he was known as Toby Whinypants (and we now believe he’s more likely a lab/Rhodesian Ridgeback mix).
He’s the biggest lap dog I’ve ever known (topping out somewhere around 100lbs). Â He has been my constant companion and loyal guardian. Â He’s as naughty as he is loving. Â He’s an expert dumpster-diver and always wants to be in the middle of the action. Â He has a heart of gold, impossibly soft ears, and a dopey smile that brightens up even the darkest days.
And tomorrow, after twelve years, we will say goodbye to our faithful buddy.
This decision hasn’t come easily… I’ve been gripped with guilt and confusion for several weeks as I wrestled with our options. Â It’s so surreal to think of walking him into the vet’s office only to walk out without him. Â But really, his walk has turned into a loud, labored hobble as an old ACL injury and severe arthritis have taken their toll. Â We have to pump his body full of medication on a daily basis (glucosamine, Novox, and 56 units of insulin which he so bravely allows me to administer). Â He sleeps more and bosses the neighbor dogs around less. Â His beautiful amber eyes are clouded over with cataracts. Â And his sleek black snout and eyebrows are fully blanketed in silver. Â Despite his ever-wagging alligator tail and his huge grin, I know he is suffering. Â And I owe it to him to help him leave this world with a little bit of dignity still intact.
Rest in peace, Big Dog. Â May you have unlimited counters to surf and the fluffiest bed to snore on, somewhere over the rainbow.
I’m so very sorry. We had to put our first dog down a couple of summers ago, and it still ranks up there as one of the saddest things we’ve been through as a family. Praying for comfort.
Thanks for your prayers. This will definitely be a tough adjustment!
I am getting teary eyed just reading this. I am sorry you all have to go through this but knowing he is not going to suffer anymore is all more the reason to go through with your decision. (My dog tore her ACL and has the start of arthritis….so I was thinking…gosh am I going to be here sooner than later ) Thinking of you.
Thanks Sheryl 🙂 His ACL injury actually happened 4 or 5 years ago. He was already arthritic by then, and slipped on the ice in our backyard when we lived in IL. He healed, but the arthritis only got worse. I’ll bet you’ve got plenty of time left with your girl 😉
“May you have unlimited counters to surf”…I’m laughing and crying at the same time! Toby, thank you for taking such good care of my little and her littles all these years; you will be missed. Megan, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending mental hugs, love, and prayers.
He’s snoring like a lumberjack, totally oblivious to what awaits him tomorrow (but what else is new, he’s usually oblivious). Nikki, on the other hand, knows that Mama’s been a blubbering idiot all day, and she’s been watching me very closely – sitting ON my feet, leaning on me while I stand. It’ll be interesting to see how she grieves (or if she just pulls up her bootstraps and puts even more energy into protecting the rest of us). Love you Big!
So sorry for your loss. My pup is 12 as well and it’s been difficult to watch her black fade to silver and see her slow down with old age and arthritis. Sending lots of prayers your way.
I am so sorry for your loss. I personally know how hard this decision was for you. I know my K.C. is waiting for me on the other side with our little kitty Dusty, and I will see them both again. They have been gone for several years, but I feel them in my home still. There are times when on my way to bed I forget, then I remember and the emptiness consumes me again. It’s tough to get over…
Many blessing to you and your family.
You never forget the pets you have loved, and somehow…you know they haven’t forgotten you either. You will feel his presence in your life at the most unexpected times…at first it will hurt, but eventually, the joy of remembering takes over little by little. He was a sweetheart. Love you all…and praying for you too. 🙂